floweranger:

do you ever see your face from a different angle and have a mental breakdown

not texting back is only okay when i do it

chilled:

*throws lamp at you* you need to lighten the fuck up

Have you ever heard the phrase cockblocking? You know, you’re at a bar, talking to a girl, and what happens? Her less attractive friend comes over and ruins everything. Cockblock. Well I have to tell you something guys: I have been the less attractive friend, and you were NOT cockblocked. I was following orders from my better-looking friend that she did not wanna fuck you. …Girls have two signals for their friends: ‘I’m gonna fuck him’ and ‘HELP.’

— Amy Schumer [x] (via rashaka)

mistitled:

*cares more about TV show characters and their problems than my own*

  • *throws tissue into trash can from two feet away*
  • me: BALLIN
  • me: BALL IS LIFE
  • me: BASKETBALL NEVER SLEEPS
  • me: KOBE TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTES
wild-tea:

x

caseyanthonyofficial:

I hate when I smile at a stranger and they don’t smile back I’m doing this for you fucker

justphamous:

Bridle Road Residence | JustPhamous
freckiled:

(via Tumblr Archive Poster)